How to help your loved ones overcome addiction

Living with or loving someone who is struggling with addiction can seem like a never-ending uphill battle. Just when you think things are looking up, there’s a setback or twelve your loved one has to overcome. It’s not uncommon for someone to feel hopeless when it comes to helping their loved one with an addiction. The following will explore some of the things you can do to provide the type of support your loved one needs.

Understand this is their fight

Before we begin, it is crucial that you understand this is not something you can do for someone else. This is their fight. If they want to support and help, you can be there and offer it, but if they don’t, you have to understand that they are their own person with agency and the freedom to do what they wish with their life.

Always put your safety first

This being said, if you or someone else is in danger because of the addiction, immediately address this. If you need to remove yourself from the situation or if kids need to go and stay with their grandparents, see to this first. Putting yourself in harm’s way isn’t going to help the situation at all. It might even make it worse, as guilt and shame (which are common emotions people feel after they’ve hurt loved ones) are often integral parts of addition.

Do your research

Take your time to learn about all the different options and methods available. According to the team behind Help 4 Addiction, you should not only be looking for information on your loved one’s situation but yours as well. It can be traumatizing to watch someone you love harm themselves or others. It can fill you with guilt and what-ifs and all sorts of other dangerous and toxic thought patterns. You might also need help. Remember that.

Be supportive of therapy assignments

No one likes to feel like they’re a part of a problem, but the truth is, humans are pack animals, and we’re intrinsically linked to one another. It is essential that if your loved one is attending any type of therapy, you are supportive of their assignments and the conversations they have afterward. Your loved one might need to talk about moments from their childhood that are hard for you to hear, they might need to discuss things that have happened in the past between you and them, they might need to have a timer go off every half an hour and journal about their physical sensations as they begin to relearn how to feel emotions (often emotional processing is part of the struggle of addiction). They might even ask you to attend a therapy session with them in family therapy. Of course, balance their requests with your boundaries, but it is important that you attempt to support the therapy process, even if that means listening to what their therapist said about you.

The above information is only the beginning. Addiction is a multi-faceted battle often involving addressing childhood traumas, healing, forgiving, relearning basic human tasks like emotional regulation and dealing with social conflict, and addressing any mental health issues. These sorts of processes can sometimes take a fair bit of time.