Coping Strategies for Families of Alcoholics

It’s fair to say that alcoholism doesn’t just affect the person that is living with it. While they are, of course, the primary concern and they’re the one that needs help to get their life back on track, it can be a challenging period of time for friends, colleagues and family alike.

For family members in particular seeing a loved one go through addiction can be tough, and it’s important to ensure they get the alcohol help they need. For you, as a family member, it’s also valuable to find methods and strategies to look after yourself and the rest of the family too. So here are seven coping strategies for families of alcoholics…

Take the time to understand addiction

One of the most important steps for families is to understand alcoholism as an illness rather than a personal failing. Alcohol dependence is a complex condition influenced by genetic, psychological and environmental factors. Viewing it through this lens can help reduce feelings of blame, anger or shame, both towards the person drinking and towards oneself. Education about addiction also enables family members to respond more effectively and realistically to challenging behaviours.

Set clear and healthy boundaries

Families often fall into patterns of enabling, such as covering up for missed responsibilities, making excuses or shielding the person from the consequences of their drinking. While these actions are usually motivated by love or fear, they can unintentionally reinforce the problem. Establishing boundaries helps families protect themselves emotionally and practically, while also encouraging the individual to take responsibility for their behaviour. Boundaries should be communicated calmly and consistently, focusing on what the family member will or will not tolerate.

Prioritise your own health too

Looking after one’s own mental and physical health is essential but frequently overlooked. Chronic stress associated with living with an alcoholic can lead to anxiety, depression, sleep problems and physical illness. Families should prioritise self-care, which may include regular exercise, maintaining social connections, eating well and allowing time for rest and relaxation. Seeking professional support, such as counselling or therapy, can provide a safe space to process emotions and develop coping skills.

There’s support out there

Support groups can be particularly valuable for families of alcoholics. Organisations such as Al-Anon offer peer-led meetings where individuals can share experiences, gain insight and feel less alone. Hearing from others who face similar challenges often brings reassurance and practical advice. These groups also emphasise the importance of focusing on one’s own recovery rather than trying to control the drinking behaviour of another person.

Encourage open and honest conversations

Open and honest communication, when possible, can help reduce tension within the family. Choosing appropriate times to discuss concerns, avoiding confrontation when alcohol is involved, and using calm, non-judgemental language can make conversations more productive. It is important, however, to recognise that meaningful change may not happen immediately, and families should not measure their success by whether the person stops drinking.

Think of the kids

For families with children, protecting their emotional wellbeing is especially important. Children living with an alcoholic parent may experience confusion, fear or feelings of responsibility. Providing age-appropriate explanations, reassurance and emotional support can help reduce harm. In some cases, involving school counsellors or child-focused support services may be beneficial.

Don’t focus too much on control

Finally, accepting what cannot be controlled is a powerful but difficult coping strategy. Families cannot force someone to stop drinking unless that person is ready to seek help. Letting go of this sense of control can reduce frustration and emotional exhaustion. Instead, focusing on personal wellbeing, safety and healthy relationships allows families to regain a sense of stability and resilience.