Why does Exeter have some of the unhappiest couples?

According to diamond jewellery specialists, Angelic Diamonds, Exeter is among the UK's top cities for the unhappiest couples. They examined average monthly search data on searches relating to breaking up with a partner over the last year, such as, "How do I break up with somebody?". When the search data was computed as per 100,000 people, Exeter was found to be in 7th place with 31 total break up searches per 100,000 per month.

With so many unhappy relationships in Exeter, we thought we'd take a look at the two main causes or triggers that could be making your partner look for the exit door. 

Ignoring your partner

Everyone is increasingly occupied these days, but not responding or engaging with your significant other is a chief reason they might be done with you. Our fixation on mobile phones can be a real turn off and while today's phones come with a multitude of benefits, they can stop us from being attentive to others.

Statista, a market and consumer data company, predicts that in 2025, the number of smartphone owners in the UK is estimated to reach 64.9 million. With almost everyone in possession of a smartphone, the urge to frequently reach for a device to occupy time is difficult to resist. There's just so much we can do with our phones from social media scrolling, playing poker at an online casino or simply an endless cycle of messaging others. While these activities are entertaining, they are solo pursuits that can create distance between partners.

No one is suggesting you abandon your phone, but you could put it down more often or involve your partner in your activities. Having no phones at the dinner table is a good step or cooperative phone use could be of benefit. Why not select a game that you can play with your partner? Making decisions together while playing a game or taking turns with a game such as Wordle, could make these fun activities that you enjoy as a couple rather than individual gratification. Those that predominantly play console games should defiantly splash out for another controller and explore cooperative games such as Overcooked or It Takes Two. 

Finally, respond to calls and texts promptly, not doing so is considered one of the largest relationship pet peeves. Ignoring your partner shows a lack of respect and interest, if you want a happy relationship, it needs to stop.

Being Unreliable

In any type of relationship, unreliability comes in a hodgepodge of different forms, but any type of unreliability can be emotionally draining. On the less serious side, it can take the form of always being late, changing plans at the last minute or not remembering a previous conversation. While these might seem little niggling irritations, they can build up and ultimately contribute to our perception of how trustworthy a person is. Forming a pattern of consistently failing to follow through, with both big and small promises, eradicates the trust and security of the relationship.

This lack of reliability in a partner can be due to a number of issues, sometimes, it’s just a component of who they are. There are people out there that are annoyingly unorganised and find it demanding to commit to plans or keep arrangements. Unreliability could also be due to a lack of commitment or a wish to have more control in the relationship. Whatever the reason, it should be noted that the behaviour could be conscious or unconscious. Conscious unreliability is intended behaviour devised to sabotage the self-esteem of the other partner for personal gain. While unconscious unreliability is an expression of a yearning that the partner is oblivious of.

Communicate

With any relationship issue, the key is good communication. Be honest with your partner and try to address the situation, even if it's awkward or difficult. Those that are unable to communicate their dissatisfaction may find that the frustration comes out in other ways that damage the relationship. If you settle down for a good chat you’ll get a better understanding of what your partner is thinking and have the opportunity to express your feelings. 

With Valentines Day done and dusted, many people take a moment to consider their relationship and wonder if they could maybe do better. This seems to be particularly the case in Exeter, but maybe it's not too late. If things are really on the rocks or you just need guidance there are plenty of relationship counsellors in Exeter to help you.