Coping with Father’s Day as a single dad

In any one year between January and June there can be over 50,000 more couples divorced - and for newly separated dads, the first Father’s Day can be an emotional rollercoaster, says family law specialist Imran Khodabocus.

Imran, who joined The Family Law Company in Exeter earlier this year, believes it’s up to both parents to make sure that the day does not have a negative impact on children caught in the middle of a separation or divorce. He said: “Although it was originally an American celebration, Father’s Day has become a firm part of our celebration calendar in the UK.

“Unfortunately, it has the potential to remind estranged dads about their situation, not just children that they don’t see so often, but also their spouse or partner who they are no longer with. It can be a tough time.”

Imran suggests that if at all practical, both parents discuss the day and what can be done to make it a happy occasion for all concerned. “Although it’s not always possible, these days more and more couples are opting to keep their divorce reasonably amicable, moving away from the culture of blame and realising that sometimes it is just better to get on.” If newly separated parents are able to stay on friendly terms, they could be well advised to think ahead for all occasions; not just Father’s or Mother’s Day, but birthdays, Christmas, and holiday periods where they need to decide what’s best not just for them, but for the children.

Imran says that if a father is in a position where he can’t see his children on Father’s Day for any reason, there are steps that can be taken to get through the day.

“Focussing on yourself is really important as it will help to reduce any feelings of low esteem. Go easy on yourself, and spend time with your friends or relatives, so if you want to talk about how you are feeling there are people there for you. Sharing what you are going through with others will ease the pain, and you may be surprised how many people have felt the same way as you before.

“Look after yourself and try not to indulge in order to lessen the emotions – you could go for a run or a walk instead, as physical exercise can lift your spirits.”

As a long-term family law solicitor used to the emotional aspects of divorce, Imran believes that it’s worth putting things into perspective. “There’s a lot of commercial pressure on us to acknowledge this type of family celebration, but at the end of the day, it’s just one day. If you can’t see your children on the day, why not have an unofficial Father’s Day when you next see them.”

This year, Father’s Day falls on June 19 giving enough time for parents to decide how best to handle the day, for the sake of their children.

If you need any advice you can contact Imran on 01392 421777.